Tag: advice

Any advice for an aspiring domme?

soft-hearted-mistress:

My number one tip to you and any aspiring Domme I ever meet is this: 

   Don’t doubt yourself. No matter who you are, what you look like, what your physical/mental capabilities, your gender, your age (+18), your disabilities, your sexual orientation, etc… None of that matters. What makes a good Domme is not your physical capabilities and attributes, but your mental strength and heart to train and nurture simultaneously. Don’t ever let yourself get caught up in the stereotypes more widely portrayed in media and in porn. Because although those images are completely valid and acceptable, they aren’t realistic for most honest, everyday Dommes. Just be yourself, always treat your sub(s) with love and respect, and never stop learning. I hope this helps, love ❤️ ~M

In your opinion is there such a thing as a dominant bottom? I am a domme/possibly switch with both sadistic and masochistic tendencies, and still like being on the receiving end of rough sex/manhandling while still remaining in control. However there seems to be some controversy amongst online bdsm communities whether or not ‘topping from the bottom’ is legitimate.

soft-hearted-mistress:

   Topping from the bottom is absolutely legitimate and a valid form of Domming. There’s no reason in the world why you shouldn’t be able to explore both sides of your nature at the same time, and this seems like the best way to do it in my opinion. I actually consider myself active in this type of play. I’m prominently a Domme to my sub, but I still have that side of me that wants to be topped. It’s always been a part of me and I don’t feel it’s fair to have to completely dismiss it in order to be a Domme. In my eyes it’s not about who’s on the bottom; It’s all about who’s holding the leash 💋 ~M

A lot of the femdom and gentle femdom stuff I see on here contains a lot of couples/people in committed romantic or bdsm relationships. As an inexperienced domme not looking for any relationships atm, what’s the best way I can introduce femdom or at least elements of femdom to casual sex partners?

soft-hearted-mistress:

(((18+ ADVICE)))

 You definitely don’t have to be in a committed relationship in order to enjoy elements of a D/s lifestyle. I think my number one tip would be to just be upfront about your dominance when you choose a partner (temporary or permanent). Let them know that you would like to take charge. Then based off their reaction you can decide whether to continue or not. You just have to find partners who are comfortable being submissive in nature. Other than that, I think it would be fairly simple to introduce elements of femdom into your casual sexual partners. Just be open with them and maybe keep a few “tools” on hand for more options in case you do make it that far. Even just some good quality rope or bondage restraints could be a great starter. Then when you start getting intimate, you have more to play with. Ask them if they’ve ever been dominated before. If they haven’t, ask if they’d like to try. Then if they say yes, give them your rules for the scene, set a safe word and get to work tying them up (add a blindfold if either party is feeling too shy or self-conscious. This is my personal favorite tip. It seems that when you cut off one person’s sight, it allows both to be more open to what’s happening without judgment.) Then just have your fun. I hope this is helpful ❤️ Good luck! ~M

Thanks for the great advice!