Discover the two new secret techniques only just found in a secret Amazonian love manual (not really, just what I find works…)
I was asked this week for tips on how to go down on a woman and when I read it back I thought I’d write it up as a post as most of advice I’ve seen online is pretty lame.
Essentially there are two basic moves which if you learn will make you a Cunnilingus master (/mistress?). There’s lots more you CAN do but one of the big mistakes bad pussy eaters make is doing too much and trying to be too fancy. If ever an activity merited KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) it’s oral sex.
In five simple words, ‘It’s all about the clit’
I was also inspired by a fabulous video which I’ll link to at the bottom of this ridiculously long post for something I just said was simple…
I’ve taken a few gifs from it to illustrate my points. It’s a great video, there’s none of that usual porn fakery, it’s just hot and intimate and shows how you go down on a woman if your intention is to make it as good as possible.
Oral Sex 101
So there’s a lot of nonsense talked about oral sex, stupid stuff like alphabet’s on the clit etc. There are only two basic moves you need to know to drive a woman crazy and make her cum (or just edge her, of course, this is an orgasm denial blog). Everything else is you do down there is to tease her, add a little variety and take breaks so your tongue doesn’t get worn out.
You can practise them on the pad of a finger because the first in particular is genuinely tiring – if you’re not practised your tongue will get tired out. Expect to be able to do it for maybe ten minutes* without regular practise. But get in a bit of practise and you can do it for an hour or more, no kidding.
Even better grab a denial buddy and get to practise!
(Yes, I hear some of you screaming ‘TEN MINUTES, I wish I got even ONE’. Give them this to read, stop being so subtle and tell them what you want, and be prepared to reciprocate…)
Technique 1 – The Clit Swirl
For this you need to be pressed pretty firmly on her, you’re right in there. The video I’ve giffed from starts just like this. but as she warms up you can back off a bit and give yourself some space to breathe.
Let’s go over a little bit of pussy geography here, assuming nothing:
This is above her vagina, the pussy lips (labia) come together at the top and there on the left image we see the top triangle which is the clitoral hood, on the right it’s pulled back and the clitoris itself is exposed. This can be pulled gently with a finger or thumb, or often as she gets more aroused that’ll happen naturally as her clit swells up a bit from being so aroused.
How it looks down there on women varies just as much as cocks do on men (and seeing as you’re on Tumblr I’m pretty sure you know what a huge variety they come in…). So for some women the clit will be bigger and exposed all the time, for others it’ll be little and hidden away. Either way if you get your tongue in there and do this it’ll feel amazing.
You can do this through the clit hood, and that’s a good way to start if she’s sensitive or you want to build up a tease. But in most cases you want to get your tongue directly on her clit, but be gentle in the transition and build slowly. Your tongue is the softest, wettest thing you could stimulate her clit directly with, so that’s why it works so well, but it might be that’s just too much in which case you can use this technique purely through the clit hood throughout.
So what you actually do – with your mouth against her mound you simply run the tip of you tongue around and over her clit. You can lick the tip itself but also swirling all the way around it in circles with the tip of your tongue is the winner (hence the name).
In the video she’s doing more of an up and down lick and that’s fine but circles is best. You can push pretty firmly with your tongue as you go in circles and often it’s the case that the sides of a clit are super pleasurable, not just the front (quite a few women vibe the side of their clit not the top because it feels better). So circling gets ALL the sensations in there, up and down licking doesn’t. Both is fine, but absolutely key to good cunnilingus is keeping a regular rhythm and your tongue swirling around and around is what feels best.
You have loads of options to vary what you’re doing with this. From speed of the circles, to the pressure you use, and how you actually lick. You can do it with your tongue stuck right out or your mouth pressed hard against them, just keep that tongue swirling!
Part of the joy of going down on someone is hearing and FEELING them respond to the tiniest little changes you make. In terms of edging you can hear from the noises they are making, but much more from the tension in their muscles, just how close they are, and then you slow, deliciously slow circles that keep them right on the edge but not going over. By varying firmness and speed you can keep them right on that edge.
They’ll start to lose it, maybe begging, grabbing your hair, pushing your face harder into them. But your neck and back muscles are much stronger than their arms,and you can hold off as long as you want. They can’t even get to themselves, you’re blocking them, and of course they don’t want it to stop, so they’ll often end up grabbing their own breasts, just trying to take themselves over.
Okay, so to summarise, Clit Swirling technique is simply firm circles on and around her clit. that brings us to:
Technique 2 – The Clit Suck’n’Flick
So the second move is a little more technical and it doesn’t feel quite as good as the clit circles, but it still feels amazing and the huge bonus of it is you can do it for fucking ages. Swirling really gets tiring, the Suck’n’Flick is what you revert to when you get tired so it keeps her stimulated and you don’t have to stop.
This is important because part of the joy of receiving cunnilingus is getting it for a long time. It’s like a foot rub or massage, you never really want it to end. So if you can build stamina and alternate techniques so you can do it for a long time she will adore you for it.
This technique works better once she’s getting aroused and her clit will usually be a bit more prominent and easy to get to. You need to nuzzle right in on this one, pursing your lips into an O-shape and gently sucking her clit into your mouth.
The sucking itself is nice but it’s what you do with your tongue once you’ve got it in your mouth that really feels amazing.
Suck her clit in with your teeth open enough to let it through so that the front of your teeth are pushing down gently above and below her clit and actually making her clit stick out more (the same as if you pushed two fingers down either side of your clit when you pull your clit hood back).
Then, as you gently suck you flick your tongue up and down in fast movements – this adds to the suction AND rubs the tip of her clit as you do it. It’s the same movement you make if you’re trying to suck a thick milkshake up a straw where your tongue flicks up and down to add that extra suck. You don’t have to do it THAT hard but you get the idea.
You can practise on the pad of a finger, or even just with your mouth closed, sucking and moving your tongue up and down against the back of your teeth (your mouth will fill with saliva due to the suction if you’re doing it right).
Again, you can vary speed, strength of suck, even a gentle squeeze with your teeth if she’s very aroused. Figure out what works best for her by having a little variety and THEN KEEP ON DOING IT.
Only when she’s on the edge do you want to start really messing with her and deliberately keeping her teased and pleasured.
This also is THE move to do on someone’s nipples. Particularly with the teeth a little closer together so you’re pulling the nipples through and against them. And again, you can do it for AGES.
Then it’s a case of alternating those two, the licking is where you have the greatest control and will usually feel the best, but not only does it get tiring quite fast, the same thing done all the time will always lose impact. So you move to the suck’n’flick which you can maintain much longer and uses different muscles, and then back to the swirling to take her even closer.
You can also have your mouth open for the swirling, so you can take deeper breaths. The sucking means you’re limited to just breathing through your nose which is kind of pushed up against her so breathing is a bit less easy.
So those are the two basic moves! Practising, building up stamina and simply switching between the two will make you a pussy eating master.
Variety is great, so adding things like long slow licks is very good but don’t do it too much unless you’ve got her right to the edge, it soon gets annoying as you break her progress towards an orgasm.
See how she gets right back into licking then sucking from a long lick. This is perfect.
Think about how you masturbate. You don’t do lots of different stuff to make it interesting, you do the same thing again and again till you edge or cum.
Pretty much everything you do down there is nice, don’t get me wrong (although the pulling on her labia with your mouth is very subjective, some like it, lots don’t).
But if you want her climbing the fucking walls, screaming with pleasure, worshipping the ground you walk on then your objective is to get her close to cumming and keep her there. THAT is where she can completely lose it. THAT is where what you are doing feels better than anything else she can imagine. And that edge is where you can do other things like light kisses, teasing licks, even little bites because she is in a completely different place, mind and body. Everything feels amazing.
Do NOT hurry to make her cum, if you’re going to let her cum at all that is. Obviously this is one of the most amazing ways to be edged you can imagine.
Getting your hands involved
So at this point the most your hands might have done is touch, stroke and help open her up a little.
The other way you can use them is if your mouth is getting tired just move back a little and let your fingers take over, rubbing her clit and keeping her in the zone. It’s very like a blow job really, we don’t really care if you’re using hands or mouth or whatever, just keep it feeling great and we’ll count it all as a world class BJ.
You can deliberately stop and use fingers though, stroking them over her mound, giving a contrast to what you have been doing. But don’t stop too long, she wants your mouth back there.
There’s a few great things you can do with your hands to add to the experience.
Firstly you can finger fuck her at the same time. Making sure you don’t scratch with your nails, slide one or two fingers in her pussy, start slow and teasing but work towards rubbing her g-spot (tummy side, 5-10 centimetres in). If you don’t know where it is, talk as you rub deeper. She’ll feel a pleasure surge and often the need to pee when you hit the spot. She does NOT need to pee, keep rubbing and that will fade and just feel incredible – in fact, keep rubbing and she’ll often want to squirt).
Another thing to do with your hands is lube a finger and as she’s close, slide it in her bum.
Don’t do this out of nowhere! Establish beforehand she’s into it or even if she isn’t, that you’re going to try it when she’s close to cumming. The reason is that anal play transforms when you’re close to cumming, so even if you don’t like it normally you may find you love a finger stuck in your bum right then, as it feels so naughty and good. Condom on a finger is the easy way to not even think about associated worries. Lots, lots of lube.
Oh, and you can even do the double:
All was going well until Tracey lost one of her nails…
If you can reach, and especially if her hands are tied, reach up and play with her nipples while you lick and suck her. Mind blowing. Mix in a few strong squeezes of her breasts too. It feels like the tension builds and then the squeezes release it, it’s great.
If her hands aren’t tied the other thing I love to do is hold her hands, feeling her grip me hard as I get it just right, but then also holding her, maybe by the wrists as I edge her and she wants to cum, unable to do anything about it. If you let her go she’ll push your face and grind against it like a bitch in heat. But as I said, you’re still in control, you can lick and suck as softly as you want and she’ll be helpless but to take what you give her.
Personally, it’s at this point I’ll often stop, move up her body and slide my cock in her and fuck her while she’s right on the edge. Having a penis makes this easier but it’s not essential.
At this point let’s just give a little shout out to analingus. Assuming she’s clean as a whistle (and not showering before getting oral is frankly rude, whatever type it is) then when she’s really into it, moving down and licking around and on her asshole is extraordinary.
It’s a mix of good sensations (there are lots of pleasure never endings there, second only to the clit) but it’s just how fucking naughty it is too, the ultimate in intimacy. You’re licking her arsehole for god’s sake! It’s also a great one after she’s cum once or twice as the whole area is incredibly sensitive and it will blow her mind. This is one you could surprise her with (you only really do it to the outside so it’s not as intrusive) but perhaps find some posts of it and run it by her another time when you’re edging her before you try.
If I’m really in the mood for it I’ll flip her over and make that the focus for a while. It’s a great position to do some tongue fucking from too, just pushing your tongue in and out (either hole…). Again, squeaky clean for this people, we don’t want cross contamination.
I can’t believe he’s got his tongue there but OMG it feels so good!
Tongue fucking never feels that good (maybe my tongue just isn’t long enough) but it’s very intimate and is a nice thing to throw in occasionally. The best thing is to just show you’re enjoying it. She can FEEL your moans and groans as you lick and suck there, so let her hear and feel how good you think she tastes, leave no doubt!
So the above ideas have mainly assumed she’s lying back and you’re lying between her legs. And that’s great. In fact a twist on that is you not lying, but kneeling on the floor and her with her bottom near the edge. Being like that just gives you better angles for pretty much everything as long as your knees don’t get sore.
The other thing this allows you to do better is make eye contact. This is so important for good sex but obviously trickier with oral sex. So however you’re positioned, try to connect that way sometimes, even if it’s just to enjoy the look of pure pleasure you’re giving them.
Of course the main switch is to go 69:
Cunnilingus is definitely harder upside-down (whereas a blowjob often works as well or better that way up). Her pussy is further away, and her clit isn’t so easily exposed. But as you see here (and watch much more in the video) the same works pretty damn well. Licking and sucking her clit is where it’s all at. The bonus is she is able to give back. If you’re a guy doing this, normally best to be on the bottom unless she likes you fucking her face and not really paying attention.
A nice variation is the sideways 69, kinda like this:
First one to cum is the other one’s pussy bitch, 1, 2, 3, GO!
Tease and build up
So I’ve covered most of what you need to know and you really can (muff) dive right in with what I’ve given you above. A little rubbing with your fingers and some kissing and you can ‘go down like a pro’ with the two main techniques and then build the rest.
However, if you’ve got more time then a teasing build up is very easy. For example, start with her clothed, kissing and rubbing through layers of clothing, till she’s down to just panties. Then kiss and nibble from her feet or ankles all the way up to her mound, kissing and pushing against it until she’s begging you to take them off, and then more kissing and licking around and over her pussy doing it everywhere but where she wants it most.
Then a long lick up her labia, telling her how good she tastes, a tip of a tongue sliding up between her lips to flick her clit, then a little more, and back, kissing, even your breath on her as she gets more and more worked up.
Then finally giving her longer tastes of what you can do until you’re fully into it.
Being vocal is a big part of this throughout. It doesn’t have to be talking, although telling her how good she looks and tastes down there is always a winner. It’s more just making sounds to show you’re enjoying it. Yes, you can go a little porn star with this one (that’s why they do it…) have fun moaning and groaning as you eat her out – she not only hears it but can feel it too.
If you’re new to this then make sure you get her to tell you what feels good, and what doesn’t. It’s a joint exploration. But if she goes quiet it’s usually a good thing, tension in her body and her hands will confirm you’ve got it just right.
This is an orgasm denial blog, so I should really point out you don’t need to let her cum. In my opinion there is no better way to edge a woman than with your mouth. You’re so in touch with all she’s doing, her breathing, the noises she makes, the tension in her abdomen and legs and hands grabbing at you. You can pretty soon learn to read them and keep her right on the edge with the merest hint of a suck and lick, indefinitely.
My wife has a very mixed reaction when I go down on her because as much as she loves it, she also knows if I want I can have her sobbing with frustration and leave her edged so hard she can’t even think. Glorious.
The one failing in the video I’ve taken the clips from is she doesn’t take her over into orgasm with her mouth. Position and technique failed her there and her partner had to finish herself off.
You don’t want this.
If you’re going to take her over then it’s most likely the first technique, hard fast circles with the tip of your tongue that will take her over, if it wasn’t, switch to it as that’s what you want to be doing as she cums. The suck’n’flick is a little too aggressive for the actual orgasm (although if you’re going for post orgasm torture it’s perfect, but she better be tied down or you’re going to get hit, hard!).
Be VERY aware she’s about to get incredibly sensitive. You have maybe 2-5 seconds of doing that hard before you need to start to ease off. Not stop, just back off to much more gentle, indirectly kissing and licking, or switch to gentle finger strokes as you regain eye contact and enjoy totally blissed out look on her face. Experience will vary, this one is for you to figure out.
The video I keep talking about:
I made the gifs from this original video on Tumblr, I can’t find where it’s originally from unfortunately but this is the post I found it in:
Do it yourself?
Unless you’re remarkably bendy then getting these sensations are going to involve toys I’m afraid.
Amazingly it appears sex toys manufacturers have finally figured out how to reproduce oral sex. So if you don’t currently have someone to do this to you then it’s worth checking out the ‘Clitoral Stimulators’. The two main brands are the Satisfyer and the dreadfully named but well reviewed Womanizer clitoral stimulators.
Those are all available from Lovehoney – I’ve added a page with Lovehoney’s latest offers, deals and discount codes so hopefully you can save some money too.
Alternatively get a friend, read this and practise on each other. It’s a lot cheaper, and way more fun.
I hope this helps!
Love and licks,
Find out more about techniques, edging and orgasm denial at my blog:
female-orgasm-denial.tumblr.com – the interwebs’s number 1 orgasm denial blog (apparently)
Great tips here – reblogging to reference for the Locktober Post coming up…
I’m trying to find the full version of this! Who knows where it is?
@redlips-and-bighips Here you go!!: https://www.ohjoysextoy.com/eatpussy/
Any advice for an aspiring domme?
My number one tip to you and any aspiring Domme I ever meet is this:
Don’t doubt yourself. No matter who you are, what you look like, what your physical/mental capabilities, your gender, your age (+18), your disabilities, your sexual orientation, etc… None of that matters. What makes a good Domme is not your physical capabilities and attributes, but your mental strength and heart to train and nurture simultaneously. Don’t ever let yourself get caught up in the stereotypes more widely portrayed in media and in porn. Because although those images are completely valid and acceptable, they aren’t realistic for most honest, everyday Dommes. Just be yourself, always treat your sub(s) with love and respect, and never stop learning. I hope this helps, love ❤️ ~M
In your opinion is there such a thing as a dominant bottom? I am a domme/possibly switch with both sadistic and masochistic tendencies, and still like being on the receiving end of rough sex/manhandling while still remaining in control. However there seems to be some controversy amongst online bdsm communities whether or not ‘topping from the bottom’ is legitimate.
Topping from the bottom is absolutely legitimate and a valid form of Domming. There’s no reason in the world why you shouldn’t be able to explore both sides of your nature at the same time, and this seems like the best way to do it in my opinion. I actually consider myself active in this type of play. I’m prominently a Domme to my sub, but I still have that side of me that wants to be topped. It’s always been a part of me and I don’t feel it’s fair to have to completely dismiss it in order to be a Domme. In my eyes it’s not about who’s on the bottom; It’s all about who’s holding the leash 💋 ~M